


Home At Last

by LostInWonder



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining Daryl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:26:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInWonder/pseuds/LostInWonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After pining for Rick for too long, Daryl's frustration forces his hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home At Last

**Author's Note:**

> This might be trite as hell but I wanted to write a little something to help celebrate Rickyl week, so here it is :)

Inside the walls of Alexandria, Daryl came face to face with a fear he'd been harboring since Lori had passed.  He'd never really given it the weight it deserved, maybe because he'd never been exposed to the threat in person yet.

It was Carol who'd warned him.  Told him about how Rick had kissed Jessie at that party, the one he'd been too uncomfortable to set one foot near.  How she knew Pete was the kind of man Ed had been and that this couldn't end well.  

As well as Carol knew him -better than anyone ever had, really- she had no idea what hearing that did to him.  Because it sure as hell wasn't Pete Daryl felt a sudden flash of hatred for.  It was his wife.  

He'd been ashamed of that momentary spark of petty selfishness.  He knew more than anyone how much Rick deserved a chance to be happy again. Just because he'd been foolish enough to entertain the fantasy of Rick being _his_  all these months didn't give him the right to be angry at an innocent woman.  

Daryl couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when he'd fallen in love with Rick. He'd never actually known what that felt like.  Didn't really believe he ever would.  But sometime between leaving the farm and finding the prison what had been a growing respect and a mutual trust took a turn into uncharted territory.

On the road , they'd been the main providers and protectors of their little group.   And Daryl had gotten to see a man unlike any others he'd ever known.  

A man who didn't let privation turn him into an abusive animal.  A man who kept everyone looking forward with hope.  Real hope, not based on blind faith in a God who clearly didn't give a fuck, but on the pact he'd made with all of them to find a new home. 

He watched Rick rise to the occasion again and again when lesser men, men like himself or his dad or Merle might have broken, turned to violence or hopelessness.  He saw him grow rugged and hardened, surer of his decisions and faster to act on them.  Then they'd found the prison, and Rick had trusted him to share the burden of making it a home.  The first real home Daryl had ever had.

And somehow the admiration he'd had for Rick became an obsession with looking at the man whenever he couldn't be caught.   That lean, taut frame,  dark curly hair, and purposeful expression would bring him a rush of pleasure whenever his eyes rested on him.  He felt a constant desire to be in the man's presence, or at least in his periphery.  

Those sharp blue eyes mesmerized him,  never shying away from meeting his own, sometimes capturing them back with a dip of his head when Daryl's instinct was still to avert, avoid, since more and more he felt like Rick might see right into the part of him that he tried so hard to hide.  The part that wanted him so desperately he'd been willing to throw his own life away without a second thought when he saw Joe about to end Rick in front of him.  

Because dying was preferable to living without that man in his life. He could admit that to himself now because he had no choice.  Too many events had conspired to make him see it, beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

After the prison fell and he had to face the thought of never seeing Rick again he'd been closer to throwing in the towel on it all than he'd ever been.

Not that he ever would have taken his own life.  He'd never be that much of a pussy.  But he'd stopped caring at all about it.  With Rick gone it felt like he was already dead.   He was so numb inside and out that without Beth to protect, he didn't know how he would've even remembered he still had a living body to tend to.  

Then when they'd knelt side by side at Terminus, bound and helpless and about to be slaughtered like animals,  the fear of seeing Rick die next to him nearly blotted out the fear for his own life.   

Rick's defiance and sheer determination, even in the face of such a pointless death,  made him feel something akin to worship for the man.   And Daryl's faith, not in God but in Rick, had been rewarded once again when he'd freed them from that room with a wooden shiv he'd been smart enough to hide before they'd been tear gassed. 

Even Beth's death, and the rest of the long, tortured road to Alexandria had been survivable because Rick was with him again.  

Rick had called him his brother back when they'd been reunited, and although he'd been pathetically grateful to hear that sentiment out loud, a part of him felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut and left to bleed out slowly.  

Because _brother_  no longer even scratched the surface of what Rick was to Daryl anymore.  

And now, in this strange haven,  Rick had finally gotten a taste of something he'd obviously been missing.  Something Daryl should have known he'd never be able to give him, no matter how hard he'd wished for it to be different. 

He steered clear of Rick as best he could, concentrating instead on putting together the bike Aaron had showed him in his garage. But he couldn't help but notice him chatting with Jessie here and there when their paths crossed.  Caught him watching her on her porch like a pining teenager.  

It twisted his gut that all he had to fixate on here was the memory of Rick pulling him off that asshole who'd gone to attack Glenn.  Not the anger and embarrassment of the encounter.  But the way Rick's arms had felt wrapped around him like that.  

The memory got filed away in its own separate box in his mind, along with the memories of every other time their bodies had connected.   Just like every handshake and clap on the shoulder, or the one time he'd been bold enough to give Rick's stomach a friendly pat, he knew he'd drag it out and revisit it in a way that had begun to feel more and more like running his tongue over a sore tooth.  

He had to get away for awhile.  He just couldn't take it anymore.  As soon as he was done with the bike,  he took off with Aaron, a dull, hollow ache in his chest that he doubted would ever go away.

When they returned a couple of days later with Morgan,  Rick was standing bloodied over Pete's dead body and Daryl felt the last shred of hope he'd had left shrivel up and die.

* * *

The bodies had been dealt with and Morgan was settled in. Deanna and Jessie went off to deal with their losses in private.  

Daryl headed into the empty house next door to the one the group had chosen to stay in.  He couldn't stomach company right now after everything he'd learned as they helped clean up the street. He didn't even trust himself to sit out on their porch this full of anger and frustration and hurt.

A soft knock on the door startled him after an hour or so of lying restlessly on the couch.  He was surprised to see it was Rick. 

Reluctantly he opened the door.

"Can I come in?"  Rick hadn't even bothered to clean himself up yet. His clothing was spattered with the blood of Jessie's husband and the walkers he'd put down beforehands. 

Daryl stepped aside wordlessly, letting him enter.

"I talked to Aaron, " Rick said, leveling a concerned look at Daryl.

" 'Bout what?" 

"You.  He told me about the close call you had in that car, when Morgan found you. "

Daryl shrugged, leaning against the wall in the entrance, wondering  what the hell that had to do with anything.  They had close calls all the time.

"Said you were willing to draw the walkers away so he could make a run for it. "

Daryl didn't reply.  He knew how it looked.  Like he was making a suicide run for a dude he barely knew.  But he didn't even know himself what he'd meant to do.  At the time it had just seemed right.  Daryl couldn't help wonder how the hell any of that had even come up. 

"I'm glad he had the sense to talk you out of it, " Rick said.  Then he leaned his head closer, going to catch his eyes the way he did when he wanted all of his attention.  "Do you have any idea how important you are to our family? To Carol? "

His tone was almost scolding and Daryl was about to tell him to take this bullshit somewhere else when he heard him add softly, "...to _me_?"

Earlier that week Daryl might have welcomed those words. But now, knowing how they'd never matter in the way he so desperately needed, they made him angry.

"Y'know Michonne told me 'bout the fight you had with that asshole,  "  he grit out. " Over his _wife_."

Rick blinked at him in surprise.  "What--?"

"Said she had to knock your ass out because you were out yer damned mind, all because of that woman."

"That man was dangerous.  It wasn't _just_  about her--  "

"But mostly, right? " he shot back.  "Sure as hell wasn't thinkin' about your kids or you wouldn't have been stirrin' shit up with a married woman to begin with."

" _Excuse_  me?"  Rick's face registered disbelief.

Daryl felt his control slipping as a tidal wave of pent up emotion started to crest over him.  "Seen you watchin' her, "  he spat out. " Hoverin' around her like a damn stalker."

Rick looked so astonished it was almost funny. Daryl knew he'd never have expected him to address a thing like this. And if his heart didn't feel like it was near to being ripped right from his chest he probably never would have. But he couldn't stop himself now.

"Ya just met the woman, Rick!" he near shouted. " You don't know a damn thing about her but you went and risked everything you got here for her?"

Still, Rick just stared.

"You think jus' cause we all follow along when you say jump, she's just gonna fall in line too ?  Let you step in and take her man's place now just cause you're Rick fuckin' Grimes ?"

Rick's eyes flashed with anger.  "You're way outta line, " he said lowly. "You have no idea--"

"Nah, Rick, _you're_  outta line, " he shot back.  " You just went and fucked everything up over some dumb bitch that ain't even got the sense to take care a' her own damn kid--"

His words were cut off by Rick grabbing his shirt front and slamming him backwards into the living room wall, so hard the drywall shook and knocked some cheesy framed picture to the floor,  shattering glass at their feet.

Daryl shoved him back as hard as he could but Rick was so pumped full of adrenaline he only dislodged him enough to slide out between him and the wall.  

"The hell's so special about her, Rick?  She ain't even nothin'  _like_  Lori,  " he yelled, cursing himself at the way his voice cracked.  "  What,  are you Shane now?  Willin' to kill a man just so you can-"

He knew before the last sentence had left his mouth that Rick was going to swing on him but he didn't care.  He almost welcomed the pain that exploded in the side of his face at the impact and barreled into Rick right after, wanting things to escalate now.

They toppled to the floor, grappling wildly.  Daryl felt every muscle in Rick's body working against him, but the other man wasn't trying to hurt him now.  Once they'd landed on the floor, Rick was clearly only going to subdue. 

Daryl had been expecting a fight, a real one.  He'd wanted to hurt, to bleed, to lose himself to a pain-filled rage.    Instead, with their bodies thrashing against eachother,  a familiar heat was coiling through his belly and he started to panic. 

Struggling to keep his swelling erection clear of Rick's body lost him the chance to get the upper hand and he wound up pinned over the couch with an arm behind his back.  He froze,  his heart pounding in his chest from more than just the physical exertion.  He was hard as steel now and the position they were in wasn't helping one bit.

Rick released him and got to his feet.  "Get up, " he said lowly.  It was the last thing Daryl wanted to do with a tent in his jeans so obvious there was no way Rick wouldn't notice.  

But Rick was yanking him to his feet then, spinning him around to face him before he'd gathered the wherewithal to pull away. His eyes slid right to the place Daryl was praying he'd avoid.

Rick looked incredulous, eyes snapping up from his crotch and boring into him with an intensity that made Daryl drop his gaze to somewhere around Rick's chest, currently only a few inches from his own. "Is that why...?" he breathed softly.  " _Jesus_ , Daryl... "  

The hunter went to push past Rick, utterly humiliated. 

But Rick grabbed his arm roughly and spun him around.    "No.  You're not just walking away now, " he said, startling Daryl with the heat behind the words. 

He wasn't touching Daryl at all now but the younger man was immobilized by those blazing blue eyes fixed on him.  "How long ?"  he rasped

Daryl couldn't speak, could hardly breathe, because there was no way, no way at all he could tell him just how long he'd wanted him, just how long he'd felt that empty ache every time he thought about Rick finding someone else.   He'd never expected to be exposed like this and the thought of Rick outright rejecting him now was more than he thought he could take.

"How long?"  Rick asked again, softer, stepping a little closer.

Daryl stared back at him, unable to form words out of the jumbled mess in his mind. He'd never seen Rick like this before,and as his eyes darted around for something to settle on other than that piercing gaze he suddenly saw how hard the older man was, his cock forming a clear ridge against his tight fitting jeans.  A wild hope started swelling in his chest as he lifted questioning eyes to Rick's. 

Before he knew what was happening, Rick's lips were on his, hard and bruising and hungry.  Rough hands ran up around his back, fingers twisted in his hair and settled behind his head, holding him in place as the other man practically devoured his mouth.  

And Daryl felt all those months of longing and confusion blowing away like dry leaves, tears of relief prickling at the corners of his eyes as he clutched at Rick's hips and shoulders and arms, desperately trying to feel as much of him under his palms as he could in case this was the only chance he'd get.

Rick was propelling him backwards, their lips still colliding frantically until they collapsed onto the couch together.  

Daryl thrilled at the warmth and weight of Rick's body on top of him.  He couldn't help but rut against Rick's hardness and the other man groaned and thrust downwards and soon the friction of their cocks grinding together felt better than he could even have imagined . Having so much of Rick pressed against him at once, their mouths still moving together hungrily, was too much.    In an embarrassingly short amount of time, he  was on the verge of coming.  But he couldn't stop, not after craving this for so long. 

A throaty, pleasured growl from Rick vibrated through Daryl's whole body, and he moaned back in response as he felt Rick bearing down on him harder.  He rutted against the other man just as roughly, his body mindlessly seeking release.

Rick abruptly broke them apart, raising his weight off his body and resting his forehead against Daryl's.   "If we don't stop we're gonna come in our pants like a couple of teenagers, " he said breathlessly, laughing a little.  

"Don't care, "  Daryl rasped.  Once he'd heard the desire in Rick's voice he was far past any shame or doubt.  He pulled the other man back down on top of him again, relishing the groan it pulled from him.

Suddenly Rick was fumbling his own pants open. "Wanna feel you against me, "  Rick gasped,  leaning up enough to let Daryl hastily free his member as well. 

The first contact of skin on skin as their cocks rubbed together nearly did it for Daryl but he hung on,  hurriedly  yanking the front of his shirt up.   Rick wrapped a hand around their lengths, running his thumb over both leaking heads.  

Daryl gasped and bucked up hard, and as Rick leaned in to capture his lips again it only took a few firm tugs before they were both shooting streaks of white all over Daryl's chest and belly, moaning into eachother's mouths.

Daryl gave himself no chance to recover, immediately mindful of not getting their seed all over Rick's shirtfront.  He pulled the rag from his pocket and started cleaning himself off.  Rick pressed his hand over Daryl's, halting him in his task long enough to kiss him again, deep and soft. Then he gently tugged the cloth from his hand and finished the task for him.

When Daryl was satisfactorily wiped clean, Rick settled back down on him, resting a hand on the side of his face.  "I'm sorry,"  he said,  his thumb tenderly brushing the slightly swelling bruise on the side of his face where he'd struck him.   

"S'ok,"  Daryl murmured back.  "Hardly felt it. "

"And I'm sorry," Rick whispered, pressing their foreheads together, " that I didn't figure it out sooner." 

Daryl closed his eyes, tears stinging the back of his eyelids.  His whole body thrummed with exhilaration and relief as the reality of what was  happening slowly sank in. 

He felt Rick's hands carefully tucking him back into his jeans and zipping him up, felt him rubbing soothing circles over his stomach as he let him settle himself.  He lay there for long moments,  basking in the kind of affection he never thought he'd get to feel, let alone from the man he'd loved for so long.  

When he opened his eyes and sat up, Rick was watching him with soft eyes and the smallest hint of a smile, all the tension of the past weeks erased from his face, despite two dead men outside and a shitstorm of confusion looming over them tomorrow.   

"C'mon, let's go back, " he said, standing up and reaching down a hand to help Daryl to his feet.

They walked the short distance next door in silence.  Everyone seemed to have gone off to their own rooms already but when  Rick started to ascend the stairs, Daryl hesitated.  Rick stopped and turned around when he noticed Daryl wasn't behind him. 

"Do you really think you're sleeping down here alone after that? " Rick asked, with a wry grin Daryl hadn't seen much lately.  "C'mon."  He motioned for him to follow and Daryl did, part of him still not willing to believe this was real.

Once they were alone inside the room with the door closed,  Rick was undressing, stripping down to his boxers like it was the most natural thing in the world.  He met Daryl's confused eyes and smiled crookedly.  "If you're staying the night you might wanna get out of those."

"Jesus, Rick."  Daryl breathed, feeling his cock twitch awake again. " You don't waste any time."

 Rick laughed.  "I meant our clothes are filthy.  Look how clean these sheets are,  we don't need to be gettin' this crap all over them. "    

Daryl flushed, embarrassed by his own eagerness. Slowly he toed out of his shoes, shimmied out of his vest.  He hesitated before starting to unbutton his shirt, but only for a second. This was Rick, he knew about his scars already, he didn't need to feel weird about this.  Especially with the way Rick's boxers were starting to tent as he watched him.

"Stop starin' at me like that Grimes, this ain't no striptease, " he grumbled, his face growing hotter under the other man's rapt attention.  

Rick's grin turned lecherous, a look that was  _really_  new to Daryl.  "It's actually the hottest striptease I've ever seen." 

"That's pretty sad for you, man,"  Daryl scoffed.

They were both in their boxers now and Daryl felt like his skin was on fire.  Rick went and got into bed, sitting up against the pillows and lifting the covers in invitation.  

Daryl swallowed hard.  "So I'm really stayin' the night, " he muttered, more to himself than to Rick.  

Rick raised an eyebrow at him.  "Hopefully more than just _one_." 

Daryl situated himself on the edge of the bed, hesitating again.  "Rick, you thought this through?  What the hell are people gonna think?  What about Carl? "  As much as he'd craved this, he couldn't let Rick do something he might regret. He didn't want it like that.

"I don't know, " Rick said earnestly. "But I want you here, Daryl.  I _need_  you here. " 

Daryl couldn't do anything but stare back at him, his throat so tight he didn't trust himself to speak.

"Other folks have dealt with this kind of thing," Rick continued, meeting his gaze steadily. "I'm sure we'll figure it out. We'll figure it all out together, just like everything else. "

He sounded so sure of it that Daryl pulled his legs up onto the bed and stretched them out in front of him, sitting up against the headboard.    "So why the hell didn't you ever say nothin'?"  he couldn't help asking.

"I didn't want to wind up swallowing teeth, "  Rick laughed.  "You could've said something too, you know.  At least given me a sign."

"Didn't wanna creep you out, "  Daryl said, staring at his feet.  "Or fuck up what we had."

"You couldn't have, Daryl, "  Rick said softly.  

" Don't wanna fuck it up now, "  he admitted out loud before he could stop himself.

Rick's hand landed on his shoulder then,  firm and soothing.  Like he'd been touching him that way forever.   " Hey, " he said, dipping his head down to catch Daryl's eyes and hold them.  "You couldn't.  Not even if you tried."

Daryl's throat was getting tight again.  It was too much, too good to be true.  "We should get some sleep, " he muttered, his voice coming out way too hoarse.

Rick nodded his understanding and shut the light off, letting Daryl relax in the darkness.  He slid down onto his back and heard Rick doing the same next to him.

Rick's legs splayed out a bit and Daryl felt the brush of warm skin on the side of his thigh.  He let their legs stay connected and a few seconds later Rick's hand settled next to his.  

"Is this ok?"  he asked.  Daryl recognized Rick being considerate, not wanting to push, knowing how new this all was to them.  But the thrill of Rick's skin on his already had him growing hard again.

"You already had your hand on my junk, Rick, "  he snorted.  "Don't need permission to touch the rest of me now."

Rick huffed a laugh at that.   "Well, in that case..."   

Daryl felt the mattress dip as Rick rolled over halfway on top of him.  He felt Rick's lips find his in the dark, soft and warm.  His hands went to Rick's hips. There was nothing he wanted more right now than the other man's flesh pressed against him, as tightly as he could hold them together.

Rick's hand was cradling the back of his neck and they kissed until they were so hard they couldn't help rut against one another.   They shoved their boxers down and rode eachother to climax in slow gentle waves,  their lips still moving together softly as they lost it in unison for the second time that night. 

"Jesus Christ,  "  Daryl whispered, laughing a little as they came down, foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath. " We need a damn shower."   

Rick leaned up off his sticky chest, chuckling softly.  "Hold on, " he said.  "Don't move."

He got up and padded to the bathroom, flicking the light on.  Daryl watched him cleaning himself off with a washcloth, reveling in the sight of his near-naked form illuminated brightly as he lay waiting in the bed.  

Daryl almost felt drunk after two orgasms and the prospect of sharing a bed next to Rick clad only in his boxers. 

Rick came back with a damp towel, switching on the lamp on the nightstand.  He sat on the  edge of the bed and cleaned Daryl off as the younger man relaxed under the warm cloth gently swirling over his skin.

"Got somethin' against showerin' with me?"  Daryl teased, not entirely kidding.   He'd never looked forward to a shower so much in his life.

"Yeah, "  Rick replied, smiling down at him affectionately(and  _God_ , he didn't know how long it would take to get used to that). "The way we're going, if we get naked in there we'll be up the rest of the night.  We need to have our shit together tomorrow. "

But then Rick's face clouded over again.  He got up to toss the towel in the hamper and Daryl's heart stopped, wondering if Rick was reconsidering already.   

He came back and sat down, leaned over with his elbows on his knees and his head down.   His voice was thick with remorse and Daryl realized it wasn't what _they'd_  done that he was regretting.  "I screwed up.  Everything that happened tonight out there... that's on me. "  He turned to face Daryl. " I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this tomorrow, " he admitted.

Rick had sought his opinions almost since they'd known eachother.  It was one of the things that had drawn Daryl in first.  That a man like Rick would give a damn what he had to say.  But he could tell right now Rick wasn't looking for advice.

He knew how much guilt Rick carried with him, all the time.  Every time more weight was added to the man's shoulders, Daryl felt it too.  And right now he was grateful for the chance to take some of it off.  

"Hey, " he said,  holding Rick's gaze steadily.  " S'like you said before.  We'll figure it out together, man."

Rick's eyes widened slightly.  He nodded, his expression clearing just a little.  Daryl thought he saw his eyes tear up a bit before he flicked off the light and slid onto his back next to him.

Their sides were touching now, from their shoulders all the way down to their ankles.

Taking a chance, not knowing if this was something too gay even after  what they'd already done, Daryl went to clasp the hand lying slack next to his.   

Rick responded by lacing his fingers through Daryl's  like he was clutching a lifeline, clasping so tightly it almost hurt.  His grip relaxed after a couple of seconds but he didn't let go, not for long moments.   When he did, he rolled over onto his side to face Daryl, sliding an arm around his middle and squeezing slightly.

It took awhile, but eventually Daryl took another chance and rolled himself over onto his side facing away from the other man but keeping hold of his arm so he could pull Rick around his back like a blanket.   

Rick moved with him easily, settling against him with a contented hum.  "Never took you for a cuddler, "  he drawled, his sleepy voice sounding amused.   

"Call me that again and you'll be sleepin' alone tonight, Grimes, " he mumbled, glad that Rick couldn't see him grinning like an idiot into his pillow.  

"You want outta this bed tonight, you're gonna have to fight me, "  Rick rumbled in his ear, tugging him in even closer and pressing his face into his hair.   Daryl felt his warm breath soft on the back of his neck and relaxed against him,  shocked at how easy it was to do that.

He'd been suffocating in this place since they'd been here.  He'd felt the walls closing in on him, making him feel like a caged animal.   But now, with Rick's arms wrapped tightly around him as they drifted into sleep together he felt more free than he'd ever felt out under the stars. 


End file.
